Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka? - Volume 9 : X2 ADMINISTRATOR GÜLIEDISTODIEZ

Has any human ever lived a life truly free of regrets?

To us gods, a human life passes in the blink of an eye.

But within that tiny instant, humans always end up regretting some of their choices, big or small.

If only I had done this; if only I had chosen that instead.

In these hypothetical scenarios, they imagine that they might have reached a better future if they had made different choices.

But these are all purely hypothetical.

One cannot change the past, no matter how much one thinks about it.

Yet, still, one cannot help wondering: Did I make the right choices?

Even in the short life span of a human.

And since I have lived far longer than any human, surely it would come as no surprise if I, too, was to agonize over my past choices.

Even if I know that no amount of worrying can change the past, even if I know that it’s too late, I cannot help thinking about it.

I know that if I have time to waste fretting over the past, I should spend it doing everything I can in the present instead.

And yet, sometimes it all seems in vain.

Did I make the right choices?

I have no answer.

It is never possible to tell whether you’re making the right choice in the moment.

That realization comes only much later, when you look back on the past.

That is why we look back so often.

To question whether our past choices were correct.

Because while we are living in the present, we have no way of knowing whether our immediate choices are right or not.

If anyone out there knows, I wish they would tell me.

Even if I know that no one will respond, I cannot help but wish for an answer all the more.

Am I making the right choices?

“Are you certain that was for the best?”

Ice Dragon Nia asks me now.

I do not have the answer, of course. I never know whether I am making the right choices or not.

“If I had interfered, it would have only tarnished Reigar’s pride.”

Instead, I give a vague but plausible-sounding response.

“That’s true. It was a splendid death, fitting for the man known as the world’s strongest swordsman.”

It appears that my words were not off the mark.

In front of us lies the former sword-king Reigar.

A man who will never rise again.

I am the one who brought him to this place after he chose to abdicate the throne of sword-king.

I wanted to see what he would think of this place, after fighting on the front lines against the demons for so long.

I do not regret that now.

But I do wonder about letting him die in battle after he so longed to be away from the battlefield.

Should I really have invited Reigar to this place?

Of course, I had no idea at the time that this would be the end result, so there is no point in wondering now.

I may be a god, but that doesn’t mean I can see the future.

Perhaps a powerful one like D would be able to do so, but I certainly cannot.

If I could, I might not have to agonize so over my past choices.

Although I might instead have to worry all the more about which future would be best.

If I had been able to see this future when I spoke to Reigar back then, what would I have done?

…I do not know.

In the end, whether one can see the future or not, I suppose the only option is to make your choice as best you can.

And this time, my choice has killed Reigar.

Reigar himself is the one who chose to challenge that reincarnation, and Reigar chose to keep fighting him until his death.

Those choices have nothing to do with me.

But still, I find myself thinking that if I had not brought him here, then this wouldn’t have happened.

How prideful of me.

To assume that my choices determine the outcome of everything is to discard Reigar’s own will and the decisions he made.

Prideful is the only way to describe this kind of thinking.

The more I contemplate that, the harder it becomes to make a decision.

More and more, I am becoming a mere bystander, going along with the situation while refusing to make any choices.

Until recently, that was acceptable.

But now that D has begun to act, no doubt I, too, will have to make some kind of choice.

Even if D is limiting my options.

“Ah, he moves.”

Following Nia’s gaze, I see the reincarnation.

The oni reincarnation who defeated Reigar is starting to walk toward the village.

Thanks to the special skill that D gave the reincarnations, he has already recovered all the strength he exhausted in his long fight with Reigar.

That skill, “n% I = W,” has several peculiar effects.

All of them are measures to help the reincarnations survive in this world, but the mechanism that supplies them with energy stored by the system when they level up in order to recover their health, MP, and SP is particular proof of how much D favors the reincarnations.

Extracting energy from the system, which exists purely to store up energy… It’s an effect that goes against the very purpose of the system.

It may be only a small amount, but as one who has worked endlessly to save up more energy, I still find it shameful.

And even without that skill, the reincarnations are an anomaly in this world.

All their actions have a massive effect on this world, for better or worse.

A single one of those reincarnations has already succeeded in stirring up chaos among many of us who know this world’s secrets, including Ariel, Dustin, and myself.

Aside from that culprit White, the other reincarnations are still too young to cause major incidents, and many have already fallen into Potimas’s hands, so their effect is small as of now.

But slowly, some of the others besides White are starting to expand their influence.

And the prime example is none other than the oni reincarnation currently standing close by.

“Now, what should I do…?”

The oni reincarnation’s gait is steady.

But whether his mind is clear is another question entirely.

He has the Wrath skill and has already gone mad because of it.

The Wrath skill: one of the Ruler skills that serves as a key to limited access to the system.

In the end, it is only a key, and so it can be used only by those who know the location of the keyhole and how to open the door in order to access the system.

But it is the only means by which a non-administrator resident of this world can make contact with the system, even if that is limited.

I cannot fathom why D created such skills, but I have no doubt that it was with some predicted outcome in mind.

But the Wrath skill in particular seems all but meaningless as a key.

Activating the Wrath skill greatly increases the user’s stats, but it also causes rage to overpower their rational mind.

In the end, it can turn the user into a mindless being that kills anything it comes across, as is currently happening to this oni reincarnation.

Once that happens, the user certainly cannot open the door.

A beast that lacks intelligence does not know how to use a key, after all.

But from what I’ve seen thus far, that oni seems to be slightly different from the previous Wrath users I have seen.

Throughout history, every holder of the Wrath skill, save for the first, has been reduced to a beast.

They could no longer even use weapons, simply rampaging with brute strength.

With the stat increase granted by Wrath, that alone is enough to be a serious threat.

But once reduced to this berserk state, they could no longer take full advantage of the skill’s power.

In some cases, those who did not use Wrath could be even more dangerous.

By comparison, that oni reincarnation uses swords and was even flexible enough to adopt some of Reigar’s techniques in the midst of battle.

He seems to have lost all power of reasoning, but he retains his own mind in some form.

Still, that doesn’t necessarily change anything.

If I leave him alone, he will likely venture deeper into this territory in search of new prey.

Which is why I had Nia and the other ice dragons of the Mystic Mountains attempt to lead him away so that he would not reach this place, but…

“I suppose trying to obstruct him did not go well.”

“I’m terribly sorry.”

Nia apologizes, but this is not her fault.

“No need to apologize. That creature was clearly aiming straight for this area. I do not know whether he was simply fleeing from you or whether he came here because he sensed the presence of humans, but attempting to block his path without killing him was a fool’s errand. In fact, I should apologize to you for giving such an impossible order. Especially considering the sacrifices that arose as a result.”

Turning around, I look upon the corpses of many dragons and wyrms, all Nia’s subordinates.

This happened because Nia alerted me of the situation, and I instructed her to stop his advance without killing him.

If they had simply killed the oni, the losses would have been far fewer.

Even some dragons were killed because of my warning not to kill the creature.

“No, you mustn’t trouble yourself over that, my lord. We exist to serve you. I would not mind if every last one of us perished so long as you willed it.”

Nia responds quite evenly.

The first dragons are very loyal.

Even the likes of Nia and Hyuvan, who might normally seem unreliable, carry out any task I give them with the utmost devotion.

Will I be able to live up to that loyalty?

Are they not loyal to me simply because I am the first and truest dragon?

I know that having such doubts is an insult to the loyalty with which they have served me for so many years, yet I still lack sufficient self-confidence.

I do not know if I am worthy of the faith they put in me even at the cost of their own lives.

Perhaps the earth dragon Gakia, who was once my most loyal servant even of all the dragons, challenged Ariel without my permission because he sensed that cowardly side of me.

Ariel placed her faith in White but was fighting against her at that time, all in an effort to break open the clogged-up floodgates of change.

And Gakia attempted to stop her, even abandoning his all-important duty as guardian of the Great Elroe Labyrinth Bottom Stratum in order to do so.

While I am impressed by his independence, I have complicated feelings about the fact that he did so knowing he would die.

Everyone is leaving me behind.

Soon enough, I fear that even Sariel will, too…

That thought alone causes an indescribable pain in my heart.

If that happens, then what have I been living for all this time?

I truly have no idea anymore.

But no. Now is not the time to be thinking of the future.

For now, I must decide how to deal with the oni reincarnation.

“It would be a simple matter to dispose of him. But I’m sure you do not want me to lay a hand on him directly, do you?”

“Of course not.”

I was mostly thinking out loud, and yet, a voice answers me.

A small, flat device has appeared before my eyes.

I am told it is a communication device from their world known as a “smartphone.”

However, the identity of this device is not what’s important right now.

What really matters is the person on the other end of the line.

“D.”

“Yes, hello, it’s me. The evil god D.”

Part of me did speak out loud, thinking there might be a response, but I didn’t expect D to actually contact me like this.

D is the creator of this world’s system and the only individual ranked above me.

It’s because of D that this world continues to exist.

And it’s also because of D that I can’t make any careless moves.

Which includes indiscriminately laying a hand on any reincarnation in any way.

That is why I ordered Nia and the other dragons only to slow the oni down and not to kill him.

Otherwise, I would have promptly disposed of him myself without taking any of these roundabout approaches.

“It seems like you’ve finally figured out my tastes. Excellent.”

D’s tastes? That is one way to put it.

D restricts my actions because it would not be amusing if I solve everything myself.

As she herself just said, it’s a simple matter of taste, with no deeper meaning.

Because it is more amusing this way, because it suits D’s tastes—that is why I am forced to watch what happens in this world without acting upon it.

I have the power to solve things, yet I have no choice but to sit by and watch without helping.

These are the games gods play.

While I worry over whether my actions are prideful, D couldn’t care less and simply uses whatever means available to satisfy her own desires.

She puts herself first, no matter how many casualties might arise in the process.

In any other case, I could never allow such a person to exist.

But D has the power to get away with such actions, and on top of that, she is the one who found a path toward salvation for this world and extended its life when it was on the brink of destruction.

In thanks for her reaching out a hand to this world when it was fit to be discarded, I cannot starkly oppose her, even disregarding our respective positions as gods.

Besides, the outcomes of D’s actions are not necessarily all negative.

She brought the anomalies known as reincarnations into our world and has frequently interfered with them since, but most of that is trivial on a global scale.

Even last time, when a weapon from a bygone era ran wild, things ultimately ended without any major harm being caused, even if it was a very close call.

In fact, I suspect that D may have even forbidden me from acting in order to force White to undergo deification.

White has certainly wrought a lot of chaos, but none of it has actually hindered the operation of the system.

In fact, the appearance of the reincarnations has brought about major waves of change in the world, including motivating Potimas to take action after withdrawing for so long.

I do not yet know whether these waves will inspire positive change or become the prelude to destruction, but the developments have not been entirely negative.

Which is exactly why I cannot defy D’s will, even in the face of danger.

And yet, in this particular case, I feel that I must take some kind of action.

“I know that I cannot directly interfere. But what about Nia here?”

“Hmm.”

D pauses for effect, as if considering my proposal.

In truth, knowing D, I’m sure she reached her conclusion instantly.

Perhaps this, too, is a performance for D’s own enjoyment?

“I’ll allow it, under one condition.”

To my surprise, D actually consents.

I had assumed that she would undoubtedly reject any idea of mine out of hand.

“Subdue him without killing him. As long as you can do that, you don’t need to hold back.”

This condition seems simple enough but is actually quite difficult indeed.

Knocking him out without killing him will not be easy.

Killing him would be easy—she would simply need to strike him down with all her power.

But if she has to defeat him without killing him, she will have to hold back to ensure that he survives.

Especially when the opponent in question has the Wrath skill, which makes it all the more difficult to knock him out, as the user will generally fight to the death.

She cannot fight him half-heartedly, but she must be careful not to take his life.

It calls for a delicate balance, requiring the perfect amount of restraint, in spite of D’s claim that she doesn’t need to hold back.

But we have no choice but to accept these terms.

Limited though it may be, I have received permission to interfere.

“Nia.”

“Yes?”

“If you could.”

“Leave it to me.”

With a dependable response, Nia languidly takes to the air and flies toward the oni reincarnation.

The oni is scouring the village, but the inhabitants have all long since evacuated under Reigar’s orders.

Their dwellings and belongings still remain, but since the “n% I = W” skill has already restored his SP, he likely has no need for food.

By killing some of Nia’s dragons and wyrms, as well as Reigar, the oni has leveled up.

With each level gained, the “n% I = W” skill restored him, or else he might otherwise have run out of strength and collapsed by now.

Which means that attempting to buy time by sending those forces after him only resulted in making him stronger.

In that case, perhaps I should have had Nia slow him down from the beginning, but I doubt D would have allowed that.

It’s safe to assume that she’s given her permission now only because the oni has raised his level enough that he might just barely stand a chance of surviving Nia.

If he had gotten strong enough to actually fight on her level, then maybe D would have given permission for Nia to go all-out.

D seems to enjoy unpredictable battles between evenly matched forces much more than an overwhelming victory for one side.

Which means that even with this condition, Nia stands a good chance of winning.

“I’m counting on you, Nia.”

“And I’m looking forward to a good fight.”

In contrast to my serious thoughts, D sounds quite carefree.

I turn to look at the communication device, trying not to reveal my displeasure by glaring at it, but the object is no longer there.

Just as when it appeared, I did not sense its movement or presence in the slightest.

That alone is enough to plainly remind me of the difference in our ranks as gods.

It is because she is so much more powerful that I have no choice but to obey.

And even though the device has disappeared, if I was to attempt anything now, my life would still be forfeit in an instant.

Unreasonable though it may be, that is the reality of the situation.

All I can do is watch and trust in Nia.

We cannot allow the oni reincarnation to rampage across this land any further.

There are two reasons for this, both connected to the uniqueness of this particular land.

Or rather, I suppose, the uniqueness of its residents.

This region is known as the Valley of Convenience.

A peninsula that protrudes from the continent, it is bordered by the Mystic Mountains, separating it from the inland territories.

The only way to reach this land is by traversing the Mystic Mountains or crossing the ocean.

But since the mountains are guarded by Nia and the other ice dragons, and the ocean guarded by the water dragons, it is virtually impossible to get here.

The only people who live in this isolated area are those who I bring here myself.

They are all people whose souls are reaching the end of their life span.

The system exploits the souls of those who live in this world, sapping their energy.

That in itself is inevitable. It is, in part, atonement for the sins the people of this world committed, after all, and a necessary sacrifice to extend the life of said world that was on the brink of destruction.

But there was a miscalculation: Because of that exploitation, some people’s souls began to reach their limits.

Perhaps D did not anticipate that restoring the world would take this long.

If the soul reaches its limits, all that awaits is destruction of the soul itself.

A nothingness that is a fate beyond death.

If that happens, then the soul can no longer be reincarnated.

In order to avoid that fate, the people whose souls have deteriorated too severely are sheltered here under my protection.

There are no monsters in this place.

It is because of the easily identifiable enemy known as monsters that people hone their skills to grow stronger.

But for the soul, skills are a heavy load.

The only way to guide souls to peace is to avoid acquiring or using skills as much as possible and live a peaceful life.

Most of the people here have only the bare minimum of skills.

Reigar, on the other hand, had far too many skills, so in his case, his soul deteriorated far too rapidly.

Because he developed a distaste for fighting, however, he was able to live his remaining years in peace, thus preventing any more strengthening of his skills and saving his soul from deteriorating any further.

It is not a fundamental solution, only a way of extending the soul’s life span somewhat, but it is certainly better than doing nothing at all.

Since all the people here have been gathered for that purpose, I cannot allow them to be killed by the oni.

If they die, they will reincarnate.

And in this world, once they are reincarnated, they will begin to put a load upon their souls.

This is the first reason that I must stop the oni reincarnation here.

The second reason is more of a personal wish.

I simply do not want to let this place be spoiled.

The people who live here are all individuals whose souls have severely decayed—humans and demons alike.

These two races, normally thought to be fated enemies, live here together in peace.

There are no monsters and no fights between people.

It is a miniature paradise, isolated from the outside world.

This paradise is the ideal world that Sariel once wished for.

And here in this place, that ideal is a reality.

Even if it is a temporary paradise, possible only because of my own maneuvering.

I know that the people here are able to live in peace only because they are aware that to do otherwise would be dangerous to their own souls.

But transient though it may be, this place is still a small realization of Sariel’s goal.

And I do not want it to be destroyed.

A terribly personal, foolish reason, to be sure.

But a part of me refuses to yield precisely because of that.

Perhaps I, too, am a prideful god who cares for my own wishes, if not to the same extent as D.

As that thought causes me to sink into a light spell of self-loathing, I oversee Nia’s battle.